Yeah, that’s right. We’re going there.

Is it just me or does it seem like the world is ending in 2017? Hurricanes, fires, riots, earthquakes, violence, and, oh, yeah, zombies. Okay, so we haven’t spotted zombies yet, but Halloween is approaching and there is a great chance that this is when they are coming out to play. To help you prepare, we’ve gathered the necessary equipment you’ll need to defend yourself against the crippling wrath of zombies.

 

Smith Holt Snow Helmet

[$70.00]

 

Protect the powerhouse of the body: the mind. With Smith’s Holt Snow Helmet, the zombies won’t stand a chance toward your noggin. This bombshell headgear is an all-season piece, meaning if the zombies stealthy sneak up on us in the summer, you’d be just fine.

 

Framed Minnesota 3.0 Fat Bike

[$749.95]

Escape the hobbled walk-run of the zombie army on the Framed Minnesota 3.0 fat bike. The steady frame and tough tires and hardware will make your race easy on any terrain, no matter how intense it may become. Plow up treacherous mountains or through thick forests without any pain.

 

Neff Assault Softshell Jacket

[$59.08]

Blend into your environment to throw the zombies off track in the Neff Assault Softshell Jacket . This waterproof, sweat-resistant softshell will keep you warm if there is no shelter in sight and will dry the nerves off your back if fear is creeping up on you.

 

Mountain Hardwear Y-Peg 

[$13.95]

Take something straight from your tent set-up as a weapon. Lightweight but powerful, these pegs could do some serious damage on the slow-minded zombies that lack reflexes. Even if you’re a white-belt karate kid.

 

Celtek Samurai Facemask

[$29.99]

 

Look like one of the bad guys with the Celtek Samurai facemask . They’ll never suspect a thing.

Grenade Waterbottle

The number one element you need for survival is water. Stay hydrated and energetic with the Grenade waterbottle.  The aluminum material is lightweight and durable, so you’ll have no problem carrying this through your incredible journey.

 

K2 Backside Float 30 Backpack 

 

 

[$479.95]

It’s the backpack of all backpacks. Equipped with an integrated float airbag system, ample storage for all of your zombie-defending gear, comfortable padding to protect the back, and the snowboarding carrying capability, the K2   is the jack of all trades. It is pretty epic.

 

You should feel safer already. The slow-minded, crippled zombies are clearly in the losing branch of this game. You’ll be fine, probably. But just in case, here are some survival reminders:

  • Devise a plan of attack
  • Have water and food prepared
  • Don’t be afraid to get a lil’ physical
  • Aim for the brain

The House is rooting for you. May the odds be ever in your favor.

2017-10-26T20:02:15+00:00

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