Dearest New Trick,
Ever since I first laid eyes on you in this season’s newest video, I knew that you and I were destined for one another. Countless nights I spent pining for you, dreaming my way through the fall until those first flakes of white gold began to sail downward upon our local slopes.
Months I spent perusing the local park, preparing for our first encounter and flirting with a hope of calling you mine. Then, one fateful day when I finally got ahold of you the feeling coursing through my veins made me cognizant of the reason that I have fought the suffocating cold and the unrelenting winds. Weeks of PDA in full view of the chairlift followed, and brought me respect from my peers while simultaneously jading my rivals with jealousy.
Our time in the snow-covered Elysian Fields was not wasted, and I want you to know that I will always care about you because you have an eternally special place in my bag of tricks. However, I have noticed that many of my friends have also began to place your notch in their belts, so it is with this letter that I insist we see other people.
I cannot sincerely go on like this, and it would not be fair to you anyways because I have began to play the field myself, and have been pursuing a new trick.
I wish you the best of luck, aged trick once so fresh, but our love that once seemed to have a twinkie’s shelf life has now gone the way of MySpace, and I must bid you Adieu.